Posts Tagged ‘weight’

Ground Zero…or Ground not-quite-zero

I’ll be honest- I’m not entirely sure why I’m doing this.

 

The long and short of the matter is this: my body is out of control. What once was a hall-of-fame is now a ball-of-shame. Even though I know something needs to be done…I haven’t quite found the attitude to match. I’m hoping that if I force myself to actually own my feelings…and share them through a blog…that I’ll find a way to do something about this.

 

I can’t bear to talk about it with my husband. Is that weird? I mean, we both know I’ve got quite a bit of chub going on. Why I can’t find it in myself to discuss it authentically with him, I don’t know. If you can fart in front of someone, you should be able to discuss fatness. But for whatever reason, I can’t do it.

 

Ten years ago, I went through a huge body transformation and lost about 75 pounds. It turned me into a dating, sexual dynamo that left no stone unturned, if you catch my drift. I’ll be honest- there is a part of me that is worried that I will unearth that same dangerous but wildly fun persona if I lose the weight. I got to live the Cosmo dream for several years…but at 35 with a very good husband and a thriving career, well…returning to Sarahdise isn’t an option.

 

So here I go. Today is June 8, 2011. I weigh @$) pounds. That’s in code but I’ll bet my copious ass you can figure it out.